When I was 15
My father poked the oak fire with a stick
And we ate hot spicy kolbasz
Spitting fat and juice from the fire.
When I was 20
I stayed a week
And jogged in the evenings
Jumping over the black hairy tarantulas
Marching across the road, slow and deliberate,
Like the ache in my heart.
When I was 50
We walked the steep dry hills
Through brown brambles and weeds
Past broken bits of fence and rusting metal stakes
Piled beneath overgrown oaks.
You wandered further
While I waited in the car
Pulling stickers out of my socks.
Pulling stickers from my mind and memory.
22 comments:
Annette, this poem is wonderful. I love the structure and will work up a prompt around it for some future time. I like the short stanzas and the three different time periods with a conclusion.
But most of all I love the poem for making my emotions respond. Each stanza evokes a distinct emotion. Thank you for this.
what a lovely life journey,
enjoyed your enthusiasm here, well done.
:)
enjoyed it,
different time with different dilemmas, well done.
last stanza was a superb ending and an awesome transition from past to present :) niiiiiiiiiiice!
happy potluck!
http://lynnaima.wordpress.com/2011/11/05/reality/
This is beautiful. I love the progression and the love lying just beneath the surface. Very nicely done!
http://charleslmashburn.wordpress.com/2011/11/07/the-wonder-of-you/
all right, this is a good piece. I like it!
very sentimental piece. age adds an epic quality to life.
good job.
Evening knowing where the poem is going (aging) I was pleased by the subtly of the ending. Nicely expressed.
Tears are streaming down my face. This is tremendous writing.
Such memories! This leaves me with a powerful, but mixed feeling. I think one of the strengths of this poem is the structure of the stanzas drawing memory, and you haven't over complicated it, which leaves each of us free to explore our own memories. This makes the poem powerfully individual. I bet the emotions it invokes are likewise unique to each person.
The tarantulas were fun and I like the feeling of pulling stickers out -a nice poem!
extraordinary.
Happy Thursday.
keep up the excellence.
I popped over to see what writing you have been doing. And there is your wonderful Rancho Ynecita. I read it the other day and must have forgotten to say how wonderful it is. I like how it feels I am on well marked path.
Oh I do love your poems I forgot about them sorry. Glad I came back. You truly have a talent.B
Wonderful poem that portrays the different shades of life over time :) Loved it!
moving words.
wow.
:)
join poets rally week 56 if you can.
Happy Friday.
pulling stickers from my mind and memory indeed! Such a corridor of recollection, this is. Lovely.
This is wonderful. Love it a lot!!
Greetings,
hope all is well,
invite you to join poetry picnic today, simply share a relevant or a random piece, and enjoy!
Happy Thanksgiving,
Always, your presence is sunshine to us.
Best Wishes!
your talent rocks.
xoxox
Oh my goodness!
Excellent poem!
M
I have been reading your poetry you are an amazing talented poet. I must say this one just tugged at my heart I am not sure why I just had to tell you.
Keep writing you truly have a gift. B
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